Hope After Loss

“My life seemed normal until...”

My life seemed normal until one day it wasn’t. However, what I was going through just seemed normal to many people.  It was when my husband and I became pregnant for the first time and we expected that to have a baby nine months later. It was a morning in January when my husband and I went to a women's center for a free pregnancy test. The pregnancy test was positive. Since they did limited ultrasounds, we had an ultrasound that showed we were seven weeks and three days, with an estimated due date of August 19, 2016, eight days after my birthday. It was the first time I seen or heard a baby's heartbeat. It was a joyous and exciting moment even though I didn’t expect to be pregnant. But after hearing that first heartbeat, I believed that God had given us a gift, a gift that I didn't expect, but I thought it must be part of God’s plan even if it wasn’t part of mine --- and all of a sudden I was ready.

And then another day, the doctor couldn't find the heartbeat at my next appointment. My husband and my mother were there to hear the news.  When my husband and I lost our baby, I began to ask God questions. I remember being angry with God and questioning Him. “Why? Why me? Why my baby?” I remember being confused and sad and hurt. I couldn’t understand why God would let me get pregnant and then have a pregnancy loss. Later I remembered, Job 1:21, “The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away”. But I still wanted to know what caused it and why God took our baby away? But the only thing the doctors told us was that early miscarriages were the result of chromosomal abnormalities.

Within months of that happening, I remember taking several home pregnancy tests that turned positive --- faint second line but still two lines. I even took second and third tests to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. I was overjoyed, but then I took another test, days later and had a heartbreaking negative. So, we went to a different doctor only to get a negative blood test. I was tremendously disappointed.  So, I guess we got a false positive --- and it was that day I felt that favor didn’t reconcile with the circumstances my husband and I were facing. I felt no hope.  My hope was lost. “I discovered hope and help in Jesus when...”

I discovered hope and help in Jesus when my miscarriage led to my faith and trust in God. It led me closer to God and I learned to trust Him fully. Even in the midst of my fear, God reminded me of his words in Isaiah 41:10,

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

God saw me through the loss and gave me hope again. The hope that was lost was found through faith in God’s word.  God’s word was truly my source for hope, encouragement, and healing and I hope that I can offer help for somebody going through this someday. I love Jesus and continue to find hope after hope in His promise. As a believer in Jesus Christ there are Bible promises about having children you can claim. 2 CORINTHIANS 1:20 NKJ

“For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us.”

Today, I am 38 weeks and that, my friends, is a reason to rejoice … and I can’t wait to our baby girl and share God's Grace with you soon.